Thursday, March 3, 2011
What is wrong with Barak Obama?
B’H
We all have moments of clarity and doubt about the fitness of world leaders to hold office. Today more than ever before they have enormous power and resources at their finger tips and the ability to abuse for personal gain or use for altruistic purposes.
I was sent one piece by a fairly sa’avy NYer friend who writes and runs a radio show. The other I found myself. It sets up some interesting thoughts about either the subject or the person psychoanalysing . What was freaky was that I had been watching a clip of Mr President of the USA in Sderot in Israel in 2008 and thinking how ‘disassociated and dispassionate he seemed in his talk’ while behind him stood a former Israeli PM and former Army General Ehud Barak whose expressions were far more readable than Barak Obama’s. Something sinister and strange about the man is all I can say.
Here are the links with a few extracts.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/06/a_shrink_asks_whats_wrong_with.html
So what is the matter with Obama?
Conservatives have been asking this question for some time. I've written a number of articles trying to solve the mystery.
Even some liberals are starting to wonder. James Carville railed about Obama's blasé attitude after the catastrophic oil spill. The New York Times' Maureen Dowd revamped Obama's "Yes We Can" motto into "Will We Ever?"
The liberal women of the TV show "The View" have expressed sympathy for Michelle Obama's living with a man so out of touch. Peggy Noonan, hardly a vehement Obama foe, recently pronounced him disconnected.
Obama's odd mannerisms intrigue a psychotherapist like me. He also presents a serious diagnostic challenge.
For one, Obama's teleprompter and the men behind the Blackberry keep him well-scripted. We know so little about the facts of his life.
But it's more than just a lack of information. Obama himself is a strange bird. He doesn't fit easily into any diagnostic category.
Many people attribute Obama's oddness to his narcissism. True, Obama has a gargantuan ego, and he is notoriously thin-skinned.
Yet a personality disorder like narcissism does not explain Obama's strangeness: his giggling while being asked about the economy; his continuing a shout-out rather than announcing the Ft. Hood shootings; or his vacations, golfing, partying and fundraising during the calamitous oil spill.
Take also Obama's declaring on the "Today Show" that he wants to know whose ass to kick. Consummate narcissists would never stoop to this vulgar display of adolescent machismo.
Obama is flat when passion is needed; he's aggressive when savvy is required. What's most worrisome is that Obama doesn't even realize that his behavior is inappropriate.
So if it's not just simple narcissism, what is wrong with Obama? Since I've never evaluated him, I can't say for sure. But I can hazard some educated guesses.
If I saw a client as disconnected as him, the first thing I would wonder: Is something wrong with his brain? And I'd consider the following theoretical diagnostic possibilities.
--Physical problems: There are a multitude of physiological conditions that can cause people to act strangely. For instance: head injuries, endocrine disturbances, epilepsy, and toxic chemical exposure.
It makes me wonder: Did Obama ever have a head injury? His stepfather in Indonesia was purportedly an alcoholic abuser. Was Obama subject to any physical abuse?
-- Drugs and alcohol: Damage to the brain from drugs and alcohol can also cause significant cognitive impairments. Obama once said that there were 57 states -- and didn't correct himself. Memory problems can be caused by both illicit and prescription drug use.
Obama admits to a history of drug use in his youth. Did his usage cause some damage? Does Obama still use?
--Asperger's Syndrome: Also known as high-functioning autism, Asperger's causes deficits in social skills. A person with Asperger's can't read social cues. Consequently, he can be insensitive and hurtful without even knowing it.
And the article that I found to top it off.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/06/barack_obamas_attention_defici.html
June 30, 2010
Barack Obama's Attention Deficit Disorder
By Selwyn Duke
While I'm no fan of the Attention Deficit Disorder diagnosis, I think it may be applicable to Barack Obama. After all, the man seems to suffer from a case of it that mainlining Ritalin wouldn't remedy.
Just consider Obama's relationship with Jeremiah Wright. Despite calling the prejudiced preacher a friend, mentor, and uncle; despite sitting in Wrong's church for twenty years; despite being married and having his daughters baptized by him, Obama says he was completely unaware of the bigot's anti-American, anti-white, anti-Jewish, anti-Western, and anti-Christian views. And, just so we can appreciate the severity of Obama's affliction, Wrong has quite conveniently provided a reminder of what those unforgettable views are. The scene was a five-day seminar at the Chicago Theological Seminary, where, for a mere $1,000 if taken for college credit and $300 if not, you could be enlightened by Wrong on matters of race, brotherhood, and Zionism and kibitz with him during lunch breaks. Reporting on the wisdom he imparted, the New York Post wrote: "You are not now, nor have you ever been, nor will you ever be a brother to white folk," he [Wrong] said. "And if you do not realize that, you are in serious trouble."
Wrong cited the writings of Bill Jones -- author of the book Is God a White Racist? -- as proof that white people cannot be trusted. "Bill said, 'They just killed four of their own at Kent State. They'll step on you like a cockroach and keep on movin', cause you not a brother to them.'"
Wright referred to Italians as "Mamma Luigi" and "pizzeria." He said the educational system in America is designed by whites to miseducate blacks, "not by benign neglect[,] but by malignant intent."
Wrong also said, "We probably have more African-Americans who've been brainwashed than we have South Africans who've been brainwashed" and "All your commentaries are written by oppressors."
As for Wrong's oppression, whatever its nature, it's quite a pleasant one. A few months ago he relocated to a new, opulent, million-dollar home that boasts its own cul-de-sac and proximity to a golf course.
And then there is the oppression of mental deficiencies. What I mean is that since Wrong doesn't seem like a shy, retiring type who hides deeply held views from his inner circle, I can only conclude that Obama's ADD kicked in again. Obama never assimilated the aforementioned wisdom from his longtime pastor. He never heard Wrong bellow "The US of KKK-A!" or "G** d**n America!" Instead, Obama said about his friend, "Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms." "Heard?" Or is it more like "in one ear and out the other"? Whatever. Perhaps, when Wrong's lips were moving, Obama was thinking about golf or basketball or singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round" in his mind while bobbing his head from side to side.
We all have moments of clarity and doubt about the fitness of world leaders to hold office. Today more than ever before they have enormous power and resources at their finger tips and the ability to abuse for personal gain or use for altruistic purposes.
I was sent one piece by a fairly sa’avy NYer friend who writes and runs a radio show. The other I found myself. It sets up some interesting thoughts about either the subject or the person psychoanalysing . What was freaky was that I had been watching a clip of Mr President of the USA in Sderot in Israel in 2008 and thinking how ‘disassociated and dispassionate he seemed in his talk’ while behind him stood a former Israeli PM and former Army General Ehud Barak whose expressions were far more readable than Barak Obama’s. Something sinister and strange about the man is all I can say.
Here are the links with a few extracts.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/06/a_shrink_asks_whats_wrong_with.html
So what is the matter with Obama?
Conservatives have been asking this question for some time. I've written a number of articles trying to solve the mystery.
Even some liberals are starting to wonder. James Carville railed about Obama's blasé attitude after the catastrophic oil spill. The New York Times' Maureen Dowd revamped Obama's "Yes We Can" motto into "Will We Ever?"
The liberal women of the TV show "The View" have expressed sympathy for Michelle Obama's living with a man so out of touch. Peggy Noonan, hardly a vehement Obama foe, recently pronounced him disconnected.
Obama's odd mannerisms intrigue a psychotherapist like me. He also presents a serious diagnostic challenge.
For one, Obama's teleprompter and the men behind the Blackberry keep him well-scripted. We know so little about the facts of his life.
But it's more than just a lack of information. Obama himself is a strange bird. He doesn't fit easily into any diagnostic category.
Many people attribute Obama's oddness to his narcissism. True, Obama has a gargantuan ego, and he is notoriously thin-skinned.
Yet a personality disorder like narcissism does not explain Obama's strangeness: his giggling while being asked about the economy; his continuing a shout-out rather than announcing the Ft. Hood shootings; or his vacations, golfing, partying and fundraising during the calamitous oil spill.
Take also Obama's declaring on the "Today Show" that he wants to know whose ass to kick. Consummate narcissists would never stoop to this vulgar display of adolescent machismo.
Obama is flat when passion is needed; he's aggressive when savvy is required. What's most worrisome is that Obama doesn't even realize that his behavior is inappropriate.
So if it's not just simple narcissism, what is wrong with Obama? Since I've never evaluated him, I can't say for sure. But I can hazard some educated guesses.
If I saw a client as disconnected as him, the first thing I would wonder: Is something wrong with his brain? And I'd consider the following theoretical diagnostic possibilities.
--Physical problems: There are a multitude of physiological conditions that can cause people to act strangely. For instance: head injuries, endocrine disturbances, epilepsy, and toxic chemical exposure.
It makes me wonder: Did Obama ever have a head injury? His stepfather in Indonesia was purportedly an alcoholic abuser. Was Obama subject to any physical abuse?
-- Drugs and alcohol: Damage to the brain from drugs and alcohol can also cause significant cognitive impairments. Obama once said that there were 57 states -- and didn't correct himself. Memory problems can be caused by both illicit and prescription drug use.
Obama admits to a history of drug use in his youth. Did his usage cause some damage? Does Obama still use?
--Asperger's Syndrome: Also known as high-functioning autism, Asperger's causes deficits in social skills. A person with Asperger's can't read social cues. Consequently, he can be insensitive and hurtful without even knowing it.
And the article that I found to top it off.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2010/06/barack_obamas_attention_defici.html
June 30, 2010
Barack Obama's Attention Deficit Disorder
By Selwyn Duke
While I'm no fan of the Attention Deficit Disorder diagnosis, I think it may be applicable to Barack Obama. After all, the man seems to suffer from a case of it that mainlining Ritalin wouldn't remedy.
Just consider Obama's relationship with Jeremiah Wright. Despite calling the prejudiced preacher a friend, mentor, and uncle; despite sitting in Wrong's church for twenty years; despite being married and having his daughters baptized by him, Obama says he was completely unaware of the bigot's anti-American, anti-white, anti-Jewish, anti-Western, and anti-Christian views. And, just so we can appreciate the severity of Obama's affliction, Wrong has quite conveniently provided a reminder of what those unforgettable views are. The scene was a five-day seminar at the Chicago Theological Seminary, where, for a mere $1,000 if taken for college credit and $300 if not, you could be enlightened by Wrong on matters of race, brotherhood, and Zionism and kibitz with him during lunch breaks. Reporting on the wisdom he imparted, the New York Post wrote: "You are not now, nor have you ever been, nor will you ever be a brother to white folk," he [Wrong] said. "And if you do not realize that, you are in serious trouble."
Wrong cited the writings of Bill Jones -- author of the book Is God a White Racist? -- as proof that white people cannot be trusted. "Bill said, 'They just killed four of their own at Kent State. They'll step on you like a cockroach and keep on movin', cause you not a brother to them.'"
Wright referred to Italians as "Mamma Luigi" and "pizzeria." He said the educational system in America is designed by whites to miseducate blacks, "not by benign neglect[,] but by malignant intent."
Wrong also said, "We probably have more African-Americans who've been brainwashed than we have South Africans who've been brainwashed" and "All your commentaries are written by oppressors."
As for Wrong's oppression, whatever its nature, it's quite a pleasant one. A few months ago he relocated to a new, opulent, million-dollar home that boasts its own cul-de-sac and proximity to a golf course.
And then there is the oppression of mental deficiencies. What I mean is that since Wrong doesn't seem like a shy, retiring type who hides deeply held views from his inner circle, I can only conclude that Obama's ADD kicked in again. Obama never assimilated the aforementioned wisdom from his longtime pastor. He never heard Wrong bellow "The US of KKK-A!" or "G** d**n America!" Instead, Obama said about his friend, "Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms." "Heard?" Or is it more like "in one ear and out the other"? Whatever. Perhaps, when Wrong's lips were moving, Obama was thinking about golf or basketball or singing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round" in his mind while bobbing his head from side to side.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A “AAA Gay Bastard” – Mikeybear of Aleph who represents the disenfranchised gay youth, or does he?
Several months back I entered a discussion about gay marriage rites and rights. I voiced my opinion which in one sentence is as follows. I have no problem with gay or lesbian people having some sort of rite that blesses and enriches their sense of togetherness, but I believe that legalised marriage should be between a man and a woman. I made that statement secure in the knowledge that most alternative partnerships are recognised by law anyway and the alternative partners are not disadvantaged in a court of law or Centrelink. I gave reasons why I did not support legal marriage for gay people and with all due respect to the many wonderful and creative gay people who have made great contributions to society both in this century and the last few centuries or millennium, I stated why I thought it was inappropriate for same sex partners. I did not at any time call for discrimination against gay people nor did I advocate any form of harassment or harm or bullying of gay people. I simply and honestly stated an opinion. I had no intention of having that give offense or wanting to harm anyone.
Instead of giving a rational and structured argument against my contention, I came under vitriolic and malice driven attack by Mikeybear aka Michael Barnett founder of Aleph, where he defamed me and my reputation both as a person and a professional. He also spread slanderous lies, among which he stated that my son who is now seven was born out of wedlock. I was at the time very married. It left me wondering just what this adult rather deranged male of dubious intellect had against my seven year old boy who certainly had not harmed or intended harm to him in any way. However psychiatry is not my field and I will keep my reservations about the sanity of this man to myself.
He also stated that I personally was responsible for the deaths of young gay men both in Australia and America. These were people I had never met and nor am I likely to meet as we mix in vastly different circles.
Yes there is a high rate of suicide among young gay people. I would say that would have something to do with the lifestyle choices they have made at some stage in their lives and they have not be adequately counselled or they have been counselled by the wrong people or they cannot cope with certain aspects of their life. They are, by the way, not the only people who commit suicide. There are many unusually highly intelligent and highly sensitive artistic individuals who have somehow lost their way and cannot accept themselves or their situation in life at any given time, who sadly take that ultimate step. There are many of us who in youth, searching for our way in this world, have sunken into depression which could lead to suicide if the circumstances permit. Many stand on the brink and for some reasons known only to G-D or not, depending on what you believe, turn around and fight on to establish themselves. It is about honouring yourself, who ever you are and what ever your background is. One should never let others impressions of you, colour who you are or who you want to be. Dreams are what spices our life with hope and forms and shapes our characters and lives and relationships with others. Take away a person's dreams and you damage their soul. I would never want to do that to anyone. Sometimes we have to compromise our dreams and understand our role in life. I might dream to do something that is wonderful for me, but because I have other responsibilities I have to modify my dreams. Mature people realise that all things in life come with responsibilities and that we have to change and modify lifestyles to suit employment needs and financial considerations as well as to be honest and forthright with ourselves and others. On the question of suicide though I do not wish anyone to commit suicide with the exception of people like say Hitler (may his name be erased) and his ilk.
I would however prefer to save my sympathy for the young indigenous population who has a far higher rate of suicide and they are discriminated against because of colour and race. They can’t help being born black, poor or without some of the opportunities that many of us take for granted. I am far more concerned about the discrimination these indigenous kids face and the sense of hopelessness and despair that is often rife in the urban aboriginal communities and the resulting substance abuse and what that is doing to a whole generation or two of Kooris, Murris and other groups in Australia.I would rather feel some sense of responsibility towards these people and young Koori kids because I am part of a race that did destroy their lifestyle and communities.
http://www.nisu.flinders.edu.au/pubs/bulletin15/bulletin15sup.html
I would also rather save my sympathy for the children of Israel who have to put up with their homes and playgrounds being bombarded with rockets from the ‘peaceful Palistinians’ and the depression that those kids must suffer is far worse than that of a spoilt misogynist gay activist. I save my sympathy for the people of Israel and their families who are facing these times of uncertainty with the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood and all that entails in the countries that surround Israel.
I save my sympathy for people like Peter Spencer and farmers who are losing the right to manage their own properties and to make a livelihood from them.
http://agmates.ning.com/group/peterspencerhungerstrike/forum/topics/peter-spencer-back-in-federal
The suicide rate of farmers has also risen in the last few years.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/19/2340243.htm
So gay people are not the only people with a worrying trend of suicide and part of it may have to do with the well meaning advice of teachers and the like or concerned adults. Let’s look at the example set out in this paper for ‘Chris’ who is fictitious but I became quite angry at reading the advice given out. For example, Chris is advised to change schools which is pretty poor on the part of Chris’s school and all that teaches the people bullying him is that they have successfully chased away another student because he is in some way different. Why should Chris have to change schools and all that entails? What if he is in a country area and can’t change schools?
I would say, ‘No, Chris why should you have to run away from those people? Stay and fight back. They have to accept you for who you are and that cannot happen until you accept who you are and are comfortable with yourself. You do not need to be dependent on society’s image to value yourself as a good and contributing member of the human race.’ Value yourself and I would ask him to write a list of at least 10 to 20 good qualities that he has and give him some to start with and then ask him to write down five things he would like to change about himself or herself and discuss whether it is realistic or not to expect such of him or herself.
http://www.aare.edu.au/02pap/gil02454.htm
People like Mikeybear do more damage than good for the gay community. People like Mikeybear will find themselves in big trouble if they continue to carry on like he did about me. I am an out of work, impoverished single parent. I do not have the money or inclination to take him to court for defamation and spreading slanderous lies, but let’s say I did, he could end up in prison. He is from his writings, weird and without morals of any kind. I would say, he is extremely dangerous. I have studied, worked and even flatted in another life with gay individuals of both sexes. On the whole, with few exceptions, they do have morals, dreams and hopes for the future and are very positive people. Mikeybear is a destructive personality bent on hurting others from what I can see and I wonder how much damage he has done to others. I fear for anyone who falls into his clutches.
Instead of giving a rational and structured argument against my contention, I came under vitriolic and malice driven attack by Mikeybear aka Michael Barnett founder of Aleph, where he defamed me and my reputation both as a person and a professional. He also spread slanderous lies, among which he stated that my son who is now seven was born out of wedlock. I was at the time very married. It left me wondering just what this adult rather deranged male of dubious intellect had against my seven year old boy who certainly had not harmed or intended harm to him in any way. However psychiatry is not my field and I will keep my reservations about the sanity of this man to myself.
He also stated that I personally was responsible for the deaths of young gay men both in Australia and America. These were people I had never met and nor am I likely to meet as we mix in vastly different circles.
Yes there is a high rate of suicide among young gay people. I would say that would have something to do with the lifestyle choices they have made at some stage in their lives and they have not be adequately counselled or they have been counselled by the wrong people or they cannot cope with certain aspects of their life. They are, by the way, not the only people who commit suicide. There are many unusually highly intelligent and highly sensitive artistic individuals who have somehow lost their way and cannot accept themselves or their situation in life at any given time, who sadly take that ultimate step. There are many of us who in youth, searching for our way in this world, have sunken into depression which could lead to suicide if the circumstances permit. Many stand on the brink and for some reasons known only to G-D or not, depending on what you believe, turn around and fight on to establish themselves. It is about honouring yourself, who ever you are and what ever your background is. One should never let others impressions of you, colour who you are or who you want to be. Dreams are what spices our life with hope and forms and shapes our characters and lives and relationships with others. Take away a person's dreams and you damage their soul. I would never want to do that to anyone. Sometimes we have to compromise our dreams and understand our role in life. I might dream to do something that is wonderful for me, but because I have other responsibilities I have to modify my dreams. Mature people realise that all things in life come with responsibilities and that we have to change and modify lifestyles to suit employment needs and financial considerations as well as to be honest and forthright with ourselves and others. On the question of suicide though I do not wish anyone to commit suicide with the exception of people like say Hitler (may his name be erased) and his ilk.
I would however prefer to save my sympathy for the young indigenous population who has a far higher rate of suicide and they are discriminated against because of colour and race. They can’t help being born black, poor or without some of the opportunities that many of us take for granted. I am far more concerned about the discrimination these indigenous kids face and the sense of hopelessness and despair that is often rife in the urban aboriginal communities and the resulting substance abuse and what that is doing to a whole generation or two of Kooris, Murris and other groups in Australia.I would rather feel some sense of responsibility towards these people and young Koori kids because I am part of a race that did destroy their lifestyle and communities.
http://www.nisu.flinders.edu.au/pubs/bulletin15/bulletin15sup.html
I would also rather save my sympathy for the children of Israel who have to put up with their homes and playgrounds being bombarded with rockets from the ‘peaceful Palistinians’ and the depression that those kids must suffer is far worse than that of a spoilt misogynist gay activist. I save my sympathy for the people of Israel and their families who are facing these times of uncertainty with the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood and all that entails in the countries that surround Israel.
I save my sympathy for people like Peter Spencer and farmers who are losing the right to manage their own properties and to make a livelihood from them.
http://agmates.ning.com/group/peterspencerhungerstrike/forum/topics/peter-spencer-back-in-federal
The suicide rate of farmers has also risen in the last few years.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/19/2340243.htm
So gay people are not the only people with a worrying trend of suicide and part of it may have to do with the well meaning advice of teachers and the like or concerned adults. Let’s look at the example set out in this paper for ‘Chris’ who is fictitious but I became quite angry at reading the advice given out. For example, Chris is advised to change schools which is pretty poor on the part of Chris’s school and all that teaches the people bullying him is that they have successfully chased away another student because he is in some way different. Why should Chris have to change schools and all that entails? What if he is in a country area and can’t change schools?
I would say, ‘No, Chris why should you have to run away from those people? Stay and fight back. They have to accept you for who you are and that cannot happen until you accept who you are and are comfortable with yourself. You do not need to be dependent on society’s image to value yourself as a good and contributing member of the human race.’ Value yourself and I would ask him to write a list of at least 10 to 20 good qualities that he has and give him some to start with and then ask him to write down five things he would like to change about himself or herself and discuss whether it is realistic or not to expect such of him or herself.
http://www.aare.edu.au/02pap/gil02454.htm
People like Mikeybear do more damage than good for the gay community. People like Mikeybear will find themselves in big trouble if they continue to carry on like he did about me. I am an out of work, impoverished single parent. I do not have the money or inclination to take him to court for defamation and spreading slanderous lies, but let’s say I did, he could end up in prison. He is from his writings, weird and without morals of any kind. I would say, he is extremely dangerous. I have studied, worked and even flatted in another life with gay individuals of both sexes. On the whole, with few exceptions, they do have morals, dreams and hopes for the future and are very positive people. Mikeybear is a destructive personality bent on hurting others from what I can see and I wonder how much damage he has done to others. I fear for anyone who falls into his clutches.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A Jewish Boy Denied a Bar Mitzvah in Australia
B’H
I have posted this letter here because it may never see the light of day through the Jewish News.
Dear Editor
I would strongly suggest that the Honourable Judge is in error, because by effectively barring the boy from making his bar mitzvah, he is not allowing the child to celebrate a rite of passage that holds cultural significance for his Jewish family and the community as well as the boy’s Jewish peers. It is a clever way of effectively isolating the boy and highlighting the fact that he is somehow ‘different’ from his Jewish peers even in the youth group he is allowed to attend.
I should elaborate on my position. I am totally against mixed marriages, even though and perhaps because my own son is from such a union. There is no such thing as a ‘successful mixed marriage’, because if both parties hold strong religious beliefs and practise their cultural and religious traditions, then disaster is waiting around the corner when children are born.
You cannot bring up a child in two faiths. No matter how ‘liberal and open minded’ you may be as parents, it is TOTALLY UNFAIR to the children. If indeed there are couples out there on this path, then I would suggest a pre nuptial agreement that clearly states how the children should be raised and in what religion.
Children of a Jewish mother are halachically Jewish, no matter what religion they are brought up to observe. They can thump bibles all they like and say umpteen dozen Hail Maries or whatever else orthodox Catholics say, they are still Yidden.
Children of Jewish fathers and non Jewish mothers are not Jewish and cannot be Jewish until they undergo a full orthodox halachic conversion. It does not matter if they are raised in B’nai Brak and have peyot down to their ankles and wear a kapote, until they have a fully kosher conversion, they are simply goyim or non Jews.
It is confusing enough for children of mixed marriages to have to cope with relatives on both sides of the family being radically different in their religious practice and cultural outlook on life or indeed lifestyle, but to place the burden of choice on the child or children and in addition to burden them with two sets of radically opposing religious doctrines throughout their childhood (goodness knows what sort of psychological pressure is being put on the child by this sort of madness) is insane.
Then, when the child does choose to follow a religious path and way of life, one parent or both parents will always be hurt or feel rejected. Unless both parents are ardently secular and have very tenuous ties to a religion and do not care to live a life devoid of many rites of passage or festivals, it is not going to work.
I feel most sorry for the boy. That father must feel extremely threatened by a bar mitzvah to go to this extent. If there was the equivalent rite in the Catholic religion, would the judge withhold the boy’s participation in that and in say a ‘confirmation ceremony’ and stop him from going to masses?
This story just shows the sort of mess you can get into with a mixed marriage. My son has had enough to deal with, even though his non Jewish father has very little if any contact with him, from the attitudes of some other non religious people and sad to say, a few, only very few, (B”H) religious people. It is not easy being Jewish, but with judgements like this, this it becomes even even harder.
I would appeal if I was in the position of the mother. With a good lawyer, this ruling should be overturned.
It is not fair to the children to tear them apart between the parents’ different religions and my guess is the result will effectively turn them off both religions. It is up to the parents to be sane and sensible and have the best interests of their children at heart. Choose one or the other and stop confusing the children who are the real victims in all this mess.
I have posted this letter here because it may never see the light of day through the Jewish News.
Dear Editor
I would strongly suggest that the Honourable Judge is in error, because by effectively barring the boy from making his bar mitzvah, he is not allowing the child to celebrate a rite of passage that holds cultural significance for his Jewish family and the community as well as the boy’s Jewish peers. It is a clever way of effectively isolating the boy and highlighting the fact that he is somehow ‘different’ from his Jewish peers even in the youth group he is allowed to attend.
I should elaborate on my position. I am totally against mixed marriages, even though and perhaps because my own son is from such a union. There is no such thing as a ‘successful mixed marriage’, because if both parties hold strong religious beliefs and practise their cultural and religious traditions, then disaster is waiting around the corner when children are born.
You cannot bring up a child in two faiths. No matter how ‘liberal and open minded’ you may be as parents, it is TOTALLY UNFAIR to the children. If indeed there are couples out there on this path, then I would suggest a pre nuptial agreement that clearly states how the children should be raised and in what religion.
Children of a Jewish mother are halachically Jewish, no matter what religion they are brought up to observe. They can thump bibles all they like and say umpteen dozen Hail Maries or whatever else orthodox Catholics say, they are still Yidden.
Children of Jewish fathers and non Jewish mothers are not Jewish and cannot be Jewish until they undergo a full orthodox halachic conversion. It does not matter if they are raised in B’nai Brak and have peyot down to their ankles and wear a kapote, until they have a fully kosher conversion, they are simply goyim or non Jews.
It is confusing enough for children of mixed marriages to have to cope with relatives on both sides of the family being radically different in their religious practice and cultural outlook on life or indeed lifestyle, but to place the burden of choice on the child or children and in addition to burden them with two sets of radically opposing religious doctrines throughout their childhood (goodness knows what sort of psychological pressure is being put on the child by this sort of madness) is insane.
Then, when the child does choose to follow a religious path and way of life, one parent or both parents will always be hurt or feel rejected. Unless both parents are ardently secular and have very tenuous ties to a religion and do not care to live a life devoid of many rites of passage or festivals, it is not going to work.
I feel most sorry for the boy. That father must feel extremely threatened by a bar mitzvah to go to this extent. If there was the equivalent rite in the Catholic religion, would the judge withhold the boy’s participation in that and in say a ‘confirmation ceremony’ and stop him from going to masses?
This story just shows the sort of mess you can get into with a mixed marriage. My son has had enough to deal with, even though his non Jewish father has very little if any contact with him, from the attitudes of some other non religious people and sad to say, a few, only very few, (B”H) religious people. It is not easy being Jewish, but with judgements like this, this it becomes even even harder.
I would appeal if I was in the position of the mother. With a good lawyer, this ruling should be overturned.
It is not fair to the children to tear them apart between the parents’ different religions and my guess is the result will effectively turn them off both religions. It is up to the parents to be sane and sensible and have the best interests of their children at heart. Choose one or the other and stop confusing the children who are the real victims in all this mess.
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