Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sharing an Insight on Balak

B'H
Had an interesting drosha on Balak this morning. the Rav spoke about the beginning of this Parsha Balak which begins with the Hebrew Veyera from the beginning sentence of the parsha 'and saw Balak son of Tzzipor everything that Israel had done to the Amorites' and the parsha Yithro  veishma'a 'and heard Yithro, priest of Midan and Moshe's father in law etc etc...  he then went on to expound on the difference in seeing something and in actually hearing something.
This week's parsha was all about the power of the spoken word and the importance of listening.
You can see something and make assumptions about a situation or situations and be gravely mistaken by jumping to conclusions that are grossly in error. You may see and even hear a cross word pass between a husband and wife or two friends or two siblings and conclude that they are on the verge of a divorce or the breaking up of a friendship or that an acrimonious relationship exists between two siblings. However you may fail to understand the situation and what has gone on before and you may underestimate the relationship and the reasons for the snappy words or not.
By the same token, you may see a 'supposed loving relationship' that has great tensions involved that is not healthy. The movie star world and Hollywood specialises in these sorts of PR relationships all the time. Because the whole basis on which the movie relationships are based is very fake and actors are involved who may have blurred the lines between what is real and what is acting, these relationships come under enormous pressure and break up because two people are constantly putting on an act for the rest of the world. The rav this morning used the case of Israel being seen in a negative light in the world media and people do not listen or unaware of what has gone before. Israel is seen fighting back. Israel is depicted as a bully. It is all about a series of images being created to build a story. We also are story tellers and builders in our own way and we need often to understand that our truths can be subjective and tainted by what we want it to be. That is OK so long as it is based in reality. We all need a touch of fantasy in our lives. A bit of romance and hope for the future, but we should not be unrealistically caught up in a future that is unobtainable. By the same token we need goals in our lives too. We need to listen to the inner self and soul and not search for external satisfactions, but be content in who we are and what we are doing. We need to hear and touch the inner core of morality that all of us should have. The Benai Noah laws as well as Jewish law focuses on being true to oneself and G-D not just the external appearances of morality. I get a bit of hate mail occasionally and I wonder why. I realised later that it is often when you confront an individual or group with your ideas or beliefs, they react and Israel often does by her humanitarian attitudes and actions put to shame larger and wealthier countries. For example, Aza in Israel has a million people and many of these people live in impoverished conditions. Without sanitation, sewerage, running water and other modern things we take for granted. Yet their Arab brothers and cousins are building hotels in Dubai and UAE with gold bath taps.





They actually have a seven star hotel. To me that is the extreme in extravagance and while it may look impressive to an outsider it is really very empty. While there are people still living in refugee camps in both Lebanon and Aza maybe they should consider a less opulent life style. Israel has settled an amazing number of people since 1948 within its borders. People who came to its shores with nothing now own their own houses and work and live well. That does not mean that there are no poor people in Israel. There are. But there is a very human element to Israel. They care about their people. Israel cares about each Jew and each Israeli and they are concerned or should be about each and every individual with in her borders.

When you see these pictures you realise how the misery and poverty of the Palestinians are being used to exploit them and conduct a propaganda war against the Israelis.


Their own Arab brothers keep these people in poverty and they direct their anger and frustration at Israel instead of where it should be directed - at their own Arab brothers and cousins. The Arabs can get away with all sorts of cruelty to their own like in Syria but if Israel lifts up its head in self defence, well they are bad. They have learnt the lesson of image creation well. This is a very visual age I am afraid. We need to examine the whole story and listen well, to hear as well as seeing. The image of poverty is created and controlled by a sly and manipulative government in Aza and in the surrounding Arab countries. I also look at the illusion of modesty created by the veiled women of Islam and I wonder if you really look at the behaviour of their men folk who are supposed to be good Muslims and who live these opulent lifestyles with gambling, high class hookers and  shopping habits that makes Mrs Marcos of the Philippines fame look frugal, whether it is just a smoke screen to hid the perversions of their faith.
Bil'am is a person given great powers and opportunities which he could have used for positive means. He knew the moment when Hashem gets angry and if he was able to have cursed Benai Israel at that moment, his curse would have been fairly effective. But, thankfully G-D did not get angry. However some of the weaknesses of Bil'am was his corrupt sexual behaviour and his cruelty. Very similar to many of the Saudi princes. He used his donkey as a beast of burden and to 'keep him warm at nights'. Quite disgusting when you think about it. I was reminded of the story of a Filipino girl whose sister worked for a Saudi family. She was a married woman of twenty six or seven when she got a visa to work there for a year. During that year, she was raped repeatedly by the teenage sons of the family she worked for. She worked in one house and the boys there and their half siblings would come over and take turns in using her during the night and then she would be expected to do her cleaning and other work around the house. When she complained to the senior wife, the answer was simply ' You have two children and it is not as if you are a virgin. They are good clean Muslim boys. You should be happy that are giving you pleasure.' Her protests that she was married fell on deaf ears because simply she being a non Muslim meant that she was little better than a beast of burden to them. She was an animal without real feelings or cares for them.
Islam is presented as the religion of peace. Is it really and peace for whom? Certainly not for Israel and certainly not for non Muslims.
There is a great difference is between what you see and what you hear. Think about it carefully and where is the truth and the subtext?
Gut voch.



Thursday, July 5, 2012

A letter I would liked to have sent and the letter I did send

B"H

The letter I would have dearly loved to send to the Estate Agent:

I have made the commitment to pay the rent up to the 29th of July, 2012. I will make that rent payment on the 17th of July and it will be up to date so I would appreciate it if you can give me the exact amount owed to you on that day.
I realise I will not receive the bond back due to the conversation I have had with XXX when she stated categorically to me that the property must be in the same state as when we moved in. It actually will be cleaner that I can promise. And yes, there is some wear and tear after three years of residency. I must say it was so good of you to not fix the basin in the bathroom that is slowing rotting away and also not to send someone to fix the door that fell off its hinges on the cupboard in the bathroom because the wood was rotted.
I will endeavour to move all my things out before the 29th  of July into storage with friends so  you do have the apartment vacant on or before the 27th of July. Do you want the walls painted.
I am also aware that due to the 'brilliant references given by your estate agency' I do not have a hope in hell of getting a rental property in Melbourne or in Drouin' or else where. So congratulations, my child and I are going in a few short weeks to join the queque of the homeless and become a statistic for how long who knows, maybe for the term of my natural life and my son if he is lucky will get fostered out to some nice people who will give him a home. You have just contributed to the homeless statistic and also to the number of children in foster care. Maybe they can give you a certificate for good citizenship.
You must be really proud. I will not sink to your level however and I will pay every cent of the rent even if it is the last money I have because one thing I do have and that is personal honour and you cannot take that from me.
Please send me an uptodate rental register and the exact amount I owe you to the 29th of July.
I will never rent from your Agency again and I will advise any friends I have to do the same, neither buy nor rent through your agency or any of your agencies, because I have always tried to do the right thing I now have to end up homeless.
Regards


The letter I did send:
Dear XXXXX
I have made a commitment in writing to pay the rent on the 17th of
July until the 29th of July at the residence of 6/2 A Kinross Ave,
Caulfield North. I will pay the full amount that is owing on that date
which I take to be the amount of $1,344 which was due on the 4th of
July. Due to the lack of work and health expenses for my son, I have
been late.
I note that I would like an updated copy of the rental register once
this is paid to present to any potential landlord to prove that I do
honour rental commitments. I also want to state that the property will
be left in as clean, if not cleaner state than when we moved in.

Language and Narratives in everyday life

B'H

I have just finished an interesting perusal of books by the late Ruth Wajnryb OBM. The name rang a bell so I searched the ever useful google and found some of her texts on language and narrative. It has inspired me to get one of her books on Stories.  This text has some very interesting and informative material on how narrative and story telling is taught in the classroom and the importance of dialogue and shared narratives.
I started to think about how narrative and dialogue shapes our understanding of people, events and society. As a person who has moved easily through different situations and dealt with different people in my life, I started to think about the different narratives that I personally have taken part in and also how I have participated in the creation of social narratives even outside my social milieu.
For example, most people tend to stay fixed in their personal narrative and feel very uncomfortable when brought outside of it. They know and understand who they are with absolute certainty. I found that while teaching in a small country town in southern NSW some people had extremely conservative and set views on many aspects of life. If you tried to challenge that perspective, it made them distinctly uncomfortable.
For example, one of Ruth's activities she used in a class room dealing with the topic of let us say 'adoption' requires students to look at the issue from several angles in preparation for a story or narrative about adoption.
1. From the point of view (POV) of a person who is adopted.
2. POV of the person who gave birth to the person.
3. POV of the person who adopts and raises the child.

And to be honest I would add another two perspectives.
4. POV of the father of the child who is adopted and who is say unable to marry the mother and has to watch as his child is adopted out..
5. Friend of a person who is adopted.

Now if you bring that story of adoption in a small country town, nine times out of ten, it will be quite distressing for them to deal with. The narrative will go something like this. Birth mother = bad = she gave up her child. She will be unforgiven and classed as a slut or worse. Father of child = very nasty = he had sex with mother and did not marry her. He is very bad, although some will take the line that he was just doing what came naturally and the problem is solely on the woman who has behaved badly and then done worse than bad. She gives up her child.
The person who adopts will be seen as someone who has
1. been punished by G-D therefore cannot have his or her own children. They will try to do a good job but nothing will make up for the adopted being betrayed by his or her real parents. Nothing too judgemental about that, is there?
2. Has devious reasons for wanting to adopt and none of them very altruistic. Respect but suspect sort of attitude.
The person who is adopted is the one who will get all the sympathy for after all, they were betrayed and abandoned in the most essentially awful way by two people who should have known better. Nothing will shift that point of view. You can try to gently tease them around to a different more fuller perspective but it remains the same solid as a rock wall of embedded opinion that is essentially black and white. Good and evil at logger heads.
To try and bring in other aspects to the story and to delve into the situation will only result in you being thought of as 'mad' because no one has sympathy for 'fallen women' and especially not for those who give up their child.
However looking at some of the children who used to live with their grandparents and other relatives in the town I taught it, it was probably a wise decision on the part of those mothers. In a way, I think it was often the mothers who were the victims of circumstances in the beginning beyond their control. Yes they did have unfortunate circumstances, but then there are times when one has to take the steering wheel of life and steer the vehicle on the road and not on the sides of the road. The descent into drugs and alcohol abuse  by some of these mothers makes you glad that they did give up their children into care. Also then you cannot take the high moral road in observing their lives from the outside. who knows why they ended up the way they did. Often you look into a story and you uncover the abuses that the mothers experienced on many levels, especially in the indigenous populations, then you think what sort of a society are we allowing to be created and maybe parents and families should be educated in togetherness, charity towards each other and just being good humans who do not reach for the pill bottle, drink, joint or needle every time something goes wrong in their lives. We need to build different narratives into our personal lexicon and to look up and out as well as indulging in a little personal reflection. Now I will give an example of a personal narrative myth that I have been trying to bring truth into it.
Part of the teasing and bullying that my son endured at Caulfield Junior College involved him being told he was adopted. It did start at his first school. Yes, he looks different and his skin is a different shade to mine. His father is African. He is my child and he was born at Calvary Private Hospital in Wagga Wagga. The extent of distress caused to him by the children who kept trying to tell him that he was adopted and me saying 'No you are not adopted. Here is the picture of your father and I getting married. Here is a picture of you in the hospital when you were born. And I have a scar on my belly from the C section", has been considerable.
Not only has he continually had his confidence in who he is continually shattered by these 'kind children' they have put doubts in his mind about his mother and who she is? Maybe he is adopted and 'maybe Mummy is really lying and she is not my mummy?' It has made him angry and resentful and broken his trust. People need to think about what they are saying and not make assumptions. Ask the person and do not assume that a situation is something. You may find something is very different to what you had imagined. Not everyone tells lies or covers the truth. Sometimes truth in narrative is stranger than fiction. We need to delve into stories and find the underlying elements and put them together to create a complete picture that is both truthful and identifiable.
How does this tie in with Balak?  Let's look briefly at the donkey that Bil'am saddles early to get up and curse the Jewish nation. Bil'am acts on his own personal narrative and is in a hurry to curse the Jewish nation without looking deeper into the situation that is understood even by a lowly beast of burden - the donkey.
Bil'am and Avraham had some characteristics that were the antithesis of each other. Avraham was driven by love and compassion. Bil'am is driven by the illogic of hatred. When the donkey sees the angel standing in her way she goes off the road. For this she is beaten unmercifully. Then she is given the power of speech and she asks him why he hits her. 'What has she done to him?' she hints that his mission is destined to be unsuccessful. Why because he desires perhaps to uproot a nation that worships three times yearly in Jerusalem. He does not want to explore further and converse with her. He is convinced that as a dumb beast of burden, she has nothing to impart to him. Even though she speaks and wonderously so.
Hashem gave two great prophets to the world Moshe to the Jewish people and Bil'am to the nations. One group was led into spiritual redeemption and rectification and the others were led into immorality and impurity by their own doing and failure to comprehend the wider or deeper picture.
We need to explore and respect the narrative of others and understand that we should not demean or devalue it just because it is not similar to ours does not mean that it is not relevant.
Shabbat Shalom!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

House hunting,cats, weddings, time management

B'H

I used to love Realestate.com.au. Not any more. After weeks of trawling through pages and pages of ads for houses that fall into the following categories
1. Those I would love to live in but could never afford on my present income.
2. Those I would like to live in but they have a NO PETS clause.
3. Those I would love to live in but the landlord has chosen someone else to grace his or her abode.
4. Those that the real estate agent would like me to live in but I would not want my corpse to spend time there.
5. Those that very few people could live in for a number of reasons.
6. Those that you wonder how on earth a real estate agent would even feel comfortable having such a building (residence is too good word) on their books and would think that someone would actually be able to consider living there, unless of course they were homeless and it was free. One of these looked ok on the net, but when I walked in the smell of cat urine kicked me in the face. I raced over to the double glass sliding doors and slid them open quickly and gasped for air. The agent was waiting just outside the door with a demure little smile on her face.
   'The last tenents had animals. Cats, I think.' She stood at the door not venturing further into the foul air of the house. 'It has been shampooed three times, but we think it is in the underfelt and the owner will have to change that.'
I stood in the fresh air of the backyard porch gasping for breath. If you have ever smelt rank cat urine, especially tomcats, you will understand what was going through my mind.
   'I think they might have to rip the carpet up and put in tiles or floating boards.' I ventured and as I threw a glance at the back yard, I was able to come up with something positive. 'Nice big back yard. Good shed.' My son came around the corner bouncing his ball. He had gone around the back through the carport.
   'Mummy, there is a shed for my bikes. A good shed.' 
   'Yes, hon, but if we lived here, we might be putting the bikes in the house and living in the shed.' He entered the double doors to the lounge and gagged.
  'Yeewwecch. Mummy that is so smelly.'
  'Yes dear it is that.' Then to the real estate agent who had during this whole time never once entered the house. 'I don't think this is what we are looking for. Thanks.'
We dash for the front door after holding our breath to close the double doors at the back. Son wisely, has gone back around the outside of the house through the car port. Real Estate Agent is a good girl and does her job well. She hands me an application form.
   'Just in case you change your mind. You never know. It is the location you want, isn't it?' she probably got top marks for pushiness in Real Estate School or just likes wasting paper and giving out application forms.  I would not make a good real estate agent because I would be telling the owner, 'Get onto to your insurance company and change the flooring in that house. Ain't no one going to rent that house unless you throw in a free operation to remove their ofactory receptors.

This is an example of a wonderful house for rent and they even throw in electricity and wood for the stove but it has a no pet policy. I wonder if I could take my cat to meet them.  Another opportunity is passed up because of loyalty to our four legged feline friend. Oh well such is life.
http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-vic-pakenham-407967191

Went to a wedding last night and it was a young woman (daughter of friends of mine) who married a young man from South Africa. It was a wonderful occasion. I reflected as I watched the young woman on the brink of her new life, being swirled in around in pure unadulterated joy by her friends, married and unmarried women and girls, friends of her parents and relatives, that this is what it is all about in life these rites of passage that we go through to mark our entry into new phases of our life. She was born and the occasion was one of great joy for her parents, they named her and raised her in a Jewish home full of love and light. She is the product of the love between two beautiful people - a man and a woman, she was bat mitzveh at 12 years of age and then went on to finish school and do the things that young people do as they make their way in the world with the guidance and love of their parents and siblings.
Then this girl finds her besheit or intended partner in life and they begin a new journey that is so filled with changes and challenges that will assist them to grow and develop as a family unit among their relatives and friends. What do weddings do? They connect people to people. It is not only the bride and groom - the kalla and the hosson but families and friends in a community. through our young people we grow and build. I watched almost moved to tears, as this young girl's elderly grandfather came to give her a blessing on this momenteous day in her life.Too often the elderly are thrust aside in the hurry of life, but not here. There was a calm stillness in the way everything paused and all waited as he was assisted up to the kalla and he raised his hands to her head and blessed her. And later, her other grandmother in her nineties, people were worried that she may feel left out of the dancing and joyous simcha so several people offered to bring her over to a chair placed on the dance floor. She was however content to calmly watch the proceedings from the table where she was sitting. The love as she watched her granddaughter marry was so apparent, she was there anyway in spirit whirling away with each dancer on the floor, giving the kalla and the kalla's mother and sisters incredible joy.
This girl will have her own babies with her mate in life, her new husband and one day in turn, they will watch them marry and one day even later, they may be the old man coming to bless his granddaughter getting married or be the old gracious lady watching the dancers twirling on the dance floor from the sidelines. These are the cycles of living. We bless and we are blessed. It is a continuous circle without end.
My time management has been poor today. I have to go and do some house work and inspect yet another house that I may not want to live in or may and may not be wanted. so I had better go.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Three Stooges

B'H

Yesterday I viewed the Three Stooges. I confess they were very popular when I was younger. Mainly because a much younger prince Charlie Heir to the British throne liked them. For some reason I never had a chance to watch them in action. I did yesterday and was unpleasantly surprised. Yes I know it is slap stick humour, but it consisted of three men, particularly Mo beating each other up and others on a regular basis. It did not feature child abuse, but then I really think watching three grown men belting into each other could hardly be classed as entertaining.
The text did have some entertaining features about loyalty and friendships but it was rather shockingly violent. I was trying to work out just what was this film promoting. What sort of values? Were the three men mentally challenged and it was an example of kindness of the Church nuns to keep them in the orphanage even though they were responsible for its threatened closure.
They had a warning at the end about children not to mimic the actions of the actors at home and showed some rubber hammers and other things and the sound effects.
One would wonder about the mental state of an heir to the throne of Britain who finds such stuff highly entertaining. I guess if he was a King, he could bring back court jesters and find some hollywood stunt men to give him his daily laugh.
So now we have dark kiddie humour with beatings and bashings etc as entertainment. Nice. I think I will go back and watch Predator and The Alien series reruns. At least you know that sort of violence in Sc fi is not real.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Some articles on same sex marriage which raise interesting points.

B'h

I have found the following references that support heterosexual marriage as the more desirable state for raising children. Now we are talking about the ideal and not the marriages where two dysfunctional adults struggle with themselves at the expense of the children's physical, emotional and psychological health. A well functioning and stable marriage between two healthy and happy adults.
I am hoping to write an article later in the year about what for me constitutes marriage and I want to examine the institution from an individual viewpoint which I hope others can identify with. I will use my own experiences to indicate what I think are bad marriages and what is the 'norm' or stable functioning marriage and why it works best for families and children and assists them socially to adjust to a variety of social scenarios.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-05-13/doctors-say-heterosexual-marriage-better-for-kids/4008452




















And there are some other little known side effects if you like of surrogates who will be used by the gay men who may wish to have a child and look over seas to ‘rent a womb’ so to speak. I think there are a lot of negatives and some of these are decidedly scary. I actually think same sex marriage will not be a plus for women at all. I refuse to be bullied into supporting abuse of basic human rights.


http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/an_unknown_unknown_for_gay_marriage_supporters



Sunday, July 1, 2012

Yitzak Shamir OBM one of Israel's great leaders

B'H
They say that great tzaddikim often pass away on the Shabbes day. This last shabbat when we read the portion of Chukat about the red heifer and also this portion has the passing of Miriam, Moshe's sister as well as Aron Moshe's brother, the passing of both these tzaddikim is told in this parsha. How fitting that one of the founding fathers of the State is taken from us on such a day.

I once had the honour of sharing a lift with him. I did not recognise him until I went to step out or he did. I forget which. But at the last moment, I recognised him after admiring the military bearing of this man of small physical stature, but incredible presence. I just went OMG that was Yitzak Shamir. I did tell Tamar the principal of the Daniel School of Languages on the seventh floor of Beit Jabotiniski that I had just shared a lift with Yitzak Shamir and she laughed.


Here is an amazing interview with this amazing man. It is about an hour. A sad moment. Sorry could not up load the link and as it is late and I still have fifty or so pages to read of a book I am leaving this until the morning. You can type in Leon Charney and Yitzhak Shamir and it comes up on Utube anyway. Well worth seeing.