Several months back I entered a discussion about gay marriage rites and rights. I voiced my opinion which in one sentence is as follows. I have no problem with gay or lesbian people having some sort of rite that blesses and enriches their sense of togetherness, but I believe that legalised marriage should be between a man and a woman. I made that statement secure in the knowledge that most alternative partnerships are recognised by law anyway and the alternative partners are not disadvantaged in a court of law or Centrelink. I gave reasons why I did not support legal marriage for gay people and with all due respect to the many wonderful and creative gay people who have made great contributions to society both in this century and the last few centuries or millennium, I stated why I thought it was inappropriate for same sex partners. I did not at any time call for discrimination against gay people nor did I advocate any form of harassment or harm or bullying of gay people. I simply and honestly stated an opinion. I had no intention of having that give offense or wanting to harm anyone.
Instead of giving a rational and structured argument against my contention, I came under vitriolic and malice driven attack by Mikeybear aka Michael Barnett founder of Aleph, where he defamed me and my reputation both as a person and a professional. He also spread slanderous lies, among which he stated that my son who is now seven was born out of wedlock. I was at the time very married. It left me wondering just what this adult rather deranged male of dubious intellect had against my seven year old boy who certainly had not harmed or intended harm to him in any way. However psychiatry is not my field and I will keep my reservations about the sanity of this man to myself.
He also stated that I personally was responsible for the deaths of young gay men both in Australia and America. These were people I had never met and nor am I likely to meet as we mix in vastly different circles.
Yes there is a high rate of suicide among young gay people. I would say that would have something to do with the lifestyle choices they have made at some stage in their lives and they have not be adequately counselled or they have been counselled by the wrong people or they cannot cope with certain aspects of their life. They are, by the way, not the only people who commit suicide. There are many unusually highly intelligent and highly sensitive artistic individuals who have somehow lost their way and cannot accept themselves or their situation in life at any given time, who sadly take that ultimate step. There are many of us who in youth, searching for our way in this world, have sunken into depression which could lead to suicide if the circumstances permit. Many stand on the brink and for some reasons known only to G-D or not, depending on what you believe, turn around and fight on to establish themselves. It is about honouring yourself, who ever you are and what ever your background is. One should never let others impressions of you, colour who you are or who you want to be. Dreams are what spices our life with hope and forms and shapes our characters and lives and relationships with others. Take away a person's dreams and you damage their soul. I would never want to do that to anyone. Sometimes we have to compromise our dreams and understand our role in life. I might dream to do something that is wonderful for me, but because I have other responsibilities I have to modify my dreams. Mature people realise that all things in life come with responsibilities and that we have to change and modify lifestyles to suit employment needs and financial considerations as well as to be honest and forthright with ourselves and others. On the question of suicide though I do not wish anyone to commit suicide with the exception of people like say Hitler (may his name be erased) and his ilk.
I would however prefer to save my sympathy for the young indigenous population who has a far higher rate of suicide and they are discriminated against because of colour and race. They can’t help being born black, poor or without some of the opportunities that many of us take for granted. I am far more concerned about the discrimination these indigenous kids face and the sense of hopelessness and despair that is often rife in the urban aboriginal communities and the resulting substance abuse and what that is doing to a whole generation or two of Kooris, Murris and other groups in Australia.I would rather feel some sense of responsibility towards these people and young Koori kids because I am part of a race that did destroy their lifestyle and communities.
I would also rather save my sympathy for the children of Israel who have to put up with their homes and playgrounds being bombarded with rockets from the ‘peaceful Palistinians’ and the depression that those kids must suffer is far worse than that of a spoilt misogynist gay activist. I save my sympathy for the people of Israel and their families who are facing these times of uncertainty with the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood and all that entails in the countries that surround Israel.
I save my sympathy for people like Peter Spencer and farmers who are losing the right to manage their own properties and to make a livelihood from them.
The suicide rate of farmers has also risen in the last few years.
So gay people are not the only people with a worrying trend of suicide and part of it may have to do with the well meaning advice of teachers and the like or concerned adults. Let’s look at the example set out in this paper for ‘Chris’ who is fictitious but I became quite angry at reading the advice given out. For example, Chris is advised to change schools which is pretty poor on the part of Chris’s school and all that teaches the people bullying him is that they have successfully chased away another student because he is in some way different. Why should Chris have to change schools and all that entails? What if he is in a country area and can’t change schools?
I would say, ‘No, Chris why should you have to run away from those people? Stay and fight back. They have to accept you for who you are and that cannot happen until you accept who you are and are comfortable with yourself. You do not need to be dependent on society’s image to value yourself as a good and contributing member of the human race.’ Value yourself and I would ask him to write a list of at least 10 to 20 good qualities that he has and give him some to start with and then ask him to write down five things he would like to change about himself or herself and discuss whether it is realistic or not to expect such of him or herself.
People like Mikeybear do more damage than good for the gay community. People like Mikeybear will find themselves in big trouble if they continue to carry on like he did about me. I am an out of work, impoverished single parent. I do not have the money or inclination to take him to court for defamation and spreading slanderous lies, but let’s say I did, he could end up in prison. He is from his writings, weird and without morals of any kind. I would say, he is extremely dangerous. I have studied, worked and even flatted in another life with gay individuals of both sexes. On the whole, with few exceptions, they do have morals, dreams and hopes for the future and are very positive people. Mikeybear is a destructive personality bent on hurting others from what I can see and I wonder how much damage he has done to others. I fear for anyone who falls into his clutches.