Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Thank You G-D for Life...

There was a shudder and bump. Then the car veered. Everything happened in slow motion. One second previous, I checked my 17 month old son in his capsule in the back of the sedan via the rear vision mirror. The next second, I was fighting to control the car turning sideways, scattering gravel across the road, off the bitumen, down into the channeled gully and further, a scream rising in my head as  the wheel twisted in my hands, foot beginning to pummel the brakes clutch, no, don’t brake, accelerate but too late, over on the side passenger side, God my son, my son, then clattering onto the roof to stay upended with a shattering of windscreen glass over the front of the car, the roar of the motor, the scream s of my son, someone else screaming, smell of petrol, shudder and roar of the engine, luckily having the presence of mind to turn off the motor, creaking, scratching through the roof trying to kick the door open, crushed shut, screaming God no, I promise please, no, no, do not let us burn alive amongst the spinifex bushes and wire grass tussocks, 125 kilometers from Cunnamulla to the north and 120 kilometers from Bourke to the south, tearing at the seat belt twisting out of the bucket seat that has become an unusual shape, seeing my son, comforting him, hold his hand, praying , gotta to get out of here, smell of fuel leaking somewhere, crawling through the passenger side, kicking, kick, kick, kick – a violent birth, blood running down hands and legs as flesh tears at metal and plastic, frantic energy, get baby out, get baby out, before we burn, finally out cannot get baby out through front bucket seats gap, to back door, pushing, rocking to get misshapen door open, finally open, crawl in and drag capsule unbuckle child, clasp him to chest and haul out from car and walk, staggering run to the road and the shade by the sign that says 125 kilometers Cunnamulla, shaking, soothe baby, do I want to go back to car to get bottle(?) no wait it might catch fire, he has only me and he cannot flag down car, wait and wait, talk to him, rock him and say ok its ok, we are all right, car gone, we are all right and that’s all that matters.

The car sits 10 meters off the road, tires still spinning and two front ones burst, rubber on one hangs at a crazy angle, baby has quietened, I crazy with relief, heart still pounding, stroke his wispy head of hair and say Thank you G-D, thank you for life, thank you for giving us more time….thank you G-D, thank you.


Zoe Brain said...

You saved your child.

We may have our differences, but I'm very, very glad you're safe, and wish you well.

The world is full of ordinary heroines like you. We see them every day, but don't know their stories.

Thank you for sharing yours.

Well done, and I hope one day your child will be as proud of you as they should be.

Ilana Leeds said...

Thank you, but I didn't save my child. G-D simply gave me the means to do so.
G-D gave me a means to redeem myself and my son's soul. You see I was not very observant at the time and I was driving on Shabbes on the 7th of January, 2006. I promised G-D that if I could get myself and my son out of the car alive, I would do all I could to be as observant a Jew as possible and to raise my son as an observant Jew, shomer shabbes and mitzvot. Hashem gave me a miracle. Now it is up to me to do the rest. Heroes are people like Reb Mendal Glick the baker and people who overcome great challenges to live a righteous life and strive for peace. I am simply a foolish and often stupid woman who tries to do the right thing with G-D's help.
We all have flaws and we all have mistakes in our lives, but G-D is present in our lives, we just have to understand where and how.
Even if we do not agree with someones politics, lifestyle and ideas, that does not stop them loving them as human beings. Love - true love of others transcends the physicality of what some perceive as love.
True love goes beyond the physical.

Ilana Leeds said...

Sorry, stop us from loving them as human beings.
When I say love that transcends the physical, I think of Yonathan Saul's son and David Hamelech.
We are not talking about lusts or a physical love, we are talking about love on a very high level that channels through all five spheres of the soul.