It has been a pleasant Shabbat and while I am sad to be missing the 18th Yarhetzit of the Rebbe ORM I certainly do not want to share my bug with other people. We did get to Shule this morning but when we arrived back home, I spent the rest of the day reading or sleeping which is not really what Shabbat is about. It is about the elevation of one's spiritual life and neshama one day a week. I guess it was a healing Shabbes.
I actually like this Parsha. Shule was crowded as there was an Aufruf (a bridegroom being called up to the Torah the Shabbat before his wedding. The Kalla or bride is not allowed to be present. It is considered bad luck for the Hatan and Kalla to meet in the seven days before the wedding.)
It was an interesting week this past week. I went to see a Rav from Jerusalem who is very effective in negating Ayin Hara or the Evil Eye. A great friend and teacher of mine asserts that Ayin Hara only works against you if you believe in it. I am of two minds because I believe that if someone is jealous of you or has negative feelings about you or anyone, it creates an energy that is destructive. I feel as if I have seen examples of it in action and it can definitely be present between siblings to some degree. More ony thatlater.
In this week's parsha we see an example of it in Korach who wants to be Cohen Godel. He is jealous of Moshe's and Aron's position. It is not enough for himy thathe is a Levi with his own role in the scheme of things and responsibilities,the wants more than Hashem was prepared to give him. The earth opened and swallowed himyalive. That is afterthe actively tries to hinder Moshe and Aron and makes fun of Moshe. It must have been a shocking thing to witness. A sign of Hashem's raw might and power.
My reading over this Shabbat was also focussed onyswallowing but of a more everyday kind. The reciting of the Birachat Mazon and aftertBrachot. It appears that the correct recitation and careful recitation of both the Birachat Mazon and Borenefashot is a sigula for good health and good parnossa if we do it properly. I have resolved aftertthis Shabbat reading to eat bread and recite the Birachat Mazon once a day. I am very slack in this as I do not eat bread every day but now I have resolved to do so. Also to use a bentcher to recite all aftertbrachot and I will get one to carry with me at all times. There is a rav in BenaitBrak I think, who used to carry his bentcher with him at all times and ensurey thathe recites the aftertbracha from the bentcher with appropriate concentration and kavanna. We should also say the bracha She Hakol with particular kavanna and emphasis. There were two stories I read where two people were in great danger and they asked for a glass of water and said the She Hakol bracha with particular focus and Hashem created a miracle for them.
I am trying now in my life to pay particular attention to food brachot as I feel the Master of the Universe will give me parnossa and will give me success in my search for a house in Drouin and will help me in my search for parnossa. I have already seen evidence of the Divine Hand in this and will in the weeks to come.
I have resolved to make my house in Drouin when I get the house that is right for me, a home that will welcome the Jews wandering. Any Jew who comes to my door will get a meal and a place to sleep especially on the Holy Shabbat, if we are home and if there are people who are wanting a retreat in the country and we are staying with friends in the city of Melbourne, we will work on before hand. But I want my house to be a real home for my friends as well as me. I am looking forward to Shabbats in the country where we will celebrate with davening, parsha study and Torah as well as good food and fresh air and quiet. No more noise of trams,tdust and shaking of the flat in the city and the cramped quarters. I will look out onto green hills rolling away as far as the eye can see. I will smell fresh grass and euclyptus trees,thearing the chatter of birds and buzz of small insects going about their business and I will have work, blessed work hatlong last.
Back to Ayin Hara before I go. The Rav took some lead and melted it in a small crucible spoon over a burner and as he did so he chanted kabbalistic verses. Then he took a small aluminia saucepan and waved this over my head and prayed pouring the molten metal into the pan.
Then he showed me the way the metal had formed shapes of faces and there were some sharp shards like knives and a chained row of droplets joined together. The faces were people who wished me ill or were jealous and jealousy is very much connected to Ayin Hara, and the sharp shards were the knives that people attempted to thwart my life in a variety ways,the described it like 'sakin be gav'. There were atlot of them. LOL as if I did not know, even in my own family. He described one person in particular who was very jealous of me and tried for many years to control and to chain me down and prevent me from making a success in my life because my lack of success is that which would be necessary for that person to feel somehow validated in his orther life. I feel somehow relieved. I came away with renewed determination to succeed in my life despite the odds and to take a risk in doing what I need to do for my son and myself. Hashem is on your side if you dare to do but by the same token make sureyit is morally and ethically right. If one is careful one does get success if one desiresyit for a good cause.