Thursday, May 24, 2012

Several things happened in quick succession today

One, I got a job teaching 0.5 at a secondary college in the south east suburbs. An hour later as I showered and prepared for the interview and was dressed and ready to go, I checked my phone and realised I had a message from the principal of the school ringing to tell me that I do not have the job as the time tabler had already filled the position.  Elation, than deflation.  Breathe deeply into the disappointment and say to oneself, it is all for the best. It was a long way away anyway. Hashem  wants to give me a job closer to home or in a different area to Glen Waverley.

I started Yoga yesterday and I am going to go to another class in a few days. It is a great calmer and stills the mind and brings the body back to a better healthier state of being.
Also had a call from a lovely girl Dianne at Body Work Australia and I will get a massage on a Groupon on coupon. They are normally $80 but you have the Groupon Website that offers you all these deals for cheaper. For example, the $80 massage for $30 and being highly stressed about my unpaid rent and no work, I have spend some of my remaining money this month on a massage for the 8th of June as a birthday present to myself and to calm and soothe my anxiety re work. It is better to go to interviews calm, collected and relaxed rather than a jangle of nerves.
I am dealing with people's viciousness, condescending attitude and pettiness much better than I used to do.

I have put in a new story into the Glen Eira Literary Awards. Taking no notice of the vicious emails from an ex friend who tells me I cannot write, that I am living a morally corrupt life and that I cannot write and she is just so much better a writer than I will ever be. (Oh, yeah and she is going to sue me for a post that does not mention her by name or anything to do with her. Who is paranoid?) What does she expect me to collapse in a heap because she the magnificent 'literary critic' of the twenty first century has stated my writing is crap  and that I am a morally degenerate person in her opinion. What because I am a single parent? There but for the grace of G-D could go anyone....Oh yes, that was another piece if vicious and vulgar rubbish she threw at me. I could not stay married and I am a paranoid mental case  and she, she of all people will see that I am never hired by an educational institution and I will end up on the streets like I deserve because I am such a morally corrupt person.
I remember wanting to do a massage course and really I should not have followed the advice of a person who I had believed was a friend. She talked me out of it. It would have been a good course for me as I enjoy healing and if I had done the course while I had money I could have had my own business now and worked at my writing stress free.
It is so good to be back writing after a break of twenty years. I did not write a lot from 1986 until 2006 when I began to pick up my pen again, everything flooded out. I would have liked to write my mother's story but cannot as she has Alzheimer's now and cannot remember anything and cannot even hear and cannot speak English any longer. She writes and talks in German at times and incoherent German. Apparently she would not probably even recognise me. She thinks my brother's wife is her daughter. Nothing I can do about that.
I shall just have to go on living my 'morally corrupt life', going to the library and reading Jeffery Archer, my Chumash (five books of Moses), my Tanach and commentaries, learning a bit of french, teaching my son and looking after his needs and trying to get teaching work, going to shule or the occasional shiur when I can. Oh yes and I must continue writing my nasty schumaltzy stories and poems and said friends do not have to read them.

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