Monday, August 6, 2012

What is Amalek?

Every day in our prayers we are asked to remember what Amalek did to us in the desert.  I have had in the last few days some very Amalek experiences. Today after some extremely abusive calls from my ex husband which left me nauseous and shaking with a combination of grief and absolute anger, I received a message from someone I have, even now, literally no ill feelings towards, a message of such malice it took my breath away with the absolute venom contained in it. It was on Facebook and after answering it, I defriended that person.
Social media is a positive tool of communication, but it seems some people see the need to use it negatively and to bully and rip down others. I was actually quite surprised at the pettiness and viciousness. However, I guess I should not be. After an attempt to make a peace with someone who wrote back some extremely abusive things,   I have decided war mongers and those who do not pursue peace or truth are to avoided. The latter person called me a liar as did my ex and said similar things about me being a sick pervert and wrote a range of extremely offensive, untrue things to me. Usually people accuse you of what they are guilty. Or they project their own faults and insecurities onto someone else.
My ex and the father of my son really takes the cake for lies and absolute venom. I was called a slut,  a really evil whore who stole from him and told that I had received money after my father's death and that he did not get any of it. Then, he informed me he had to get rid of me as his wife because all I thought about was money. Interestingly, this comes from a person who was a serial adulterer, a gambler, a drinker and a thief who tried to squeeze every ounce of money I had from me while I was supporting our child and who wanted me to commit perjury so he would not go to jail and defrauded me of a car and who forced me to pay the comprehensive insurance on this car. I probably lost out to the tune of $15,000 on the car when all was said and done, my credit rating ruined. The same person used to lift money from my purse without even paying me the courtesy of asking and now abuses me telling me that I have educated my son to hate non Jews. What a load of rubbish. I have kept these abusive messages. They will come in handy and serve to remind me why I have nothing to do with him.
Liars are always disgusting individuals but people who try to defraud and destroy others peace of mind are particularly so. This has been such a difficult few days, I feel sometimes I just want to lie down and die in my sleep. I just want peace but my work in this existence is not yet finished obviously. I really doubt ex would sit with son and help him with his homework, go over his work and help him with his schoolwork or pay for speech or OT. I have just paid about $120 for new shoes and there are a myriad of other expenses that are involved with kids and it has been extremely difficult few years since I was bullied in NSW. We have struggled my son and I. I wanted to tell him, "every penny of the money my father gave me went to my son's education or health or other expenses. I was unable to get work for while through no fault of my own." but I did not. A parent gives his or her heart to their children and the shirt off their back. That is the way I was brought up. We did not grow up in a home where drinking, gambling, womanising and lies were normal behaviours. I do not feel the rough lifestyle my ex leads and seems unable to change, is conducive to family life. Today just made me so glad he dumped me when I was four months pregnant. To hear the torrent of abuse and the viciousness in his voice made me thank G-D he is some other woman's problem. Probably the reason I was able to carry my son to full term was because I was not subjected to his moods and accusations day in and day out. Thank G-D That sort of person is no longer in my life and does a little boy really need that damaging crap in his life?
I know I don't. After I had a good cry, I thought to myself,  I need to look for the positive in this experience. Thank G-D I divorced him. Thank G-D he is not around wrecking our lives even more than he has.

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