Family is a word that has many connotations lately. In the rush to 'modernise families' and the concept of 'family and make the term family more 'inclusive' we have forgotten the most important elements of what family should be. Family used to mean (back in the days of dinosaurs and stone age when I was a kid, just kidding) Mum and Dad and siblings as the immediate family and then there were uncles and aunts with cousins and also Grandparents. The idea you grew up with was that you would one day meet your soul mate or better half and marry and create another offshoot of your original family and strengthen the family tree and so forth down the generations.
Now family has taken on a more transient and superficial meaning for some and they want to normalise unions between two adults of the same sex having children and creating 'families'. Somehow it just doesn't have the same ring of stability and honesty that exists in the ideal hetrosexual and even the flawed hetrosexual marriages. Most marriages are flawed. They have to be because that is the idea that the couple work on themselves and refine and grow through the relationship and work together to create a stable family unit within which to rear children who are happy and well adjusted. There is a great sense of security and peace for a child to know that he has a mother and a father even if one or both of them is not the perfect mother or perfect father.
If you were to ask any child with 'two mothers' or 'two fathers' if they felt the same sense of rightness and security as a child with a mother and a father, despite what they had been brainwashed into saying by their same sex parents, I would bet that they would want to know who their biological father is one day in the case of a child raised by two lesbians and in the case of a child raised by two men, it would surely want to know who its mother was. Who was the person who carried him or her for nine months and then gave him or her over to be raised by two men? I will be honest enough to say I find that disgusting. I would not be so disgusted by say two uncles raising a child who was related to them, because that is the child's natural kin, but to have two men cohabitating and raising a child, especially a girl, there is something quite off about it. Perhaps the mother died and had brothers or whatever, but for two unrelated men to raise a child that is only biologically half theirs is perverse.
I do not care how much money they have or how 'good' a person they are, that is not the point. A child deserves a father and deserves a mother. Not only does a child deserve that, he or she is owed that and a lot more. He or she is owed love and affection, nurture and care and concern for his or her welfare.
Yes, there are plenty of hetrosexuals who have kids and have gotten it wrong. That does not make homosexual unions the best thing and something to supercede conventional marriages and hetrosexual unions.
In fact, just because you are a rich or well off lesbian or gay man, does not make you a good parent.
Family means creating bonds of real affection between people related by blood or not and sustained nurturing and meeting challenges day after day, week after week and year after year. There are enough challenges in this world without throwing a real clanger into the pot for a kid to deal with.
Ask me if I want to see a world where same sex marriage is normalised and I will tell you honestly no. If you think that allowing same sex marriage is going to bring more 'luv and peace' into the world, you are very wrong and very deluded. It will just confuse an already confused world even more.
Sitting down at night, eating dinner with Mum and Dad, how many people do it these days? Discussing the day, talking about important topics, going over issues that arose during the course of the day, resolving them and moving on to more issues etc,that is normal. Parents are a kid's safety net to normalcy and what happens when that safety net is warped and knotted up and the kid is constantly facing challenges that are overwhelming him or her because of the flawed family unit?
Family values, normal family values are our saftey net to a better stronger person. A person who can meet the world sure and secure in his or her beliefs and faith.
When my ex husband told me when I was four months pregnant with our child, that he had found someone else and that I would miscarry because I was too old to have a baby, I would not have survived without my faith in G-D and knowing that G-D would not have allowed me to carry my child if I was not destined to carry him. My will is now like iron tempered in the fire of grief. Nothing will break it. Once I have raised my son, I can bid this world farewell and go to eternal peace in the next world. But for now, I have a job to do and that is to help and raise my son to be a good person with derek aretz or to be a mentsch.